Observations from Match.com
So I have been thinking a good bit lately about the Internet, Youth, Marketable Drugs, and ways to get rich. So I went to old match.com to sign up for an account. Everyday this thing sends me a list of people and their pictures and the most horrible, pointless, apathetic, soulless drivel I have ever read (next to my own). It was a hilarious exercise and it has brought me minutes upon minutes of entertainment.
So here's why I'm mad.
Why don't girls just come out and say it. "I WANT TO BE RICH. I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE. I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW IT."
I have no problem with this premise. I agree totally that people should breed accordingly. You should mate with your own ilk. If you think you are too good for your clan, then prove it. If you want to fuck a super model, here's some advice. No one is that smart. No one is that clever. There are gray differentials between all of us sure, but for the most part relationships, fucking, whatever all boils down to chemistry and timing. You have little pheromones and hormones running around and sometimes they match up. But to sustain a lifelong process you have to raise your game beyond your best polo shirt and too much cologne. Stop working at fucking Payless. Go get a scholarship from an in state school. Study really fucking hard and get A's. Go to grad school and become a lawyer. Start learning how to use all the utensils at a table. Learn to chew with your mouth closed. Be able to spend 10% of your income on fashionable attire. Then go bang something worthy of a photo.
Else...stay in Dundalk. Be happy.
This doesn't mean people can't find happiness. Oh no no no. The poor fuck. Well the non-religious poor anyway. That's what the poor have, I believe it was Bukowski who wrote that once, when he stayed in a shack next to a poor couple who just banged all night long. Poor people are good at living, they smile a lot, they cry a lot, and they fight a lot. Their emotions are what they have the most of. Their emotions are genuine because when you are poor nobody gives a fuck if you are nice to them. You're poor! You can be whatever you want. It's one of the coolest things about being poor and realizing it. You get to say FUCK YOU to everyone and mean it. They have emotions and hopes of success for their children but that's about it. Else they pretty much get to float from one stressful situation requiring fuck relief to another. (This thesis unfortunately does not include drug addicts, Gov't dependant lazy bastards, or psychological wastes. Unfortunately that demographic grows more everyday.)
So on match.com I come across these girls. You know which one's I like? The one's who specify how much money their date should make. The one's that name drop and say that they go wine tasting even though they wouldn't know a good bottle of wine from their own piss. It shows that they have a set of balls on them. It shows me that they know what they want. The rest of them specify (and I'm serious here...I mean all of them) that they could either go clubbing, or just 'chill' on the couch. More than likely these soon-t-be Cheeto crushing factories always chill on the couch and are a complete fucking waste. You don't go clubbing, you go get drunk because it's easier that sitting on the couch. And then you become some slam pig for a guy with greasy hair and a tight t-shirt.
Seriously, ladies that are on here, get your shit together. I mean I'm not on this thing. I think dating via the Internet is a brutal idea. The connection will happen naturally. This is just a wasteland for the vapid and pointless or for foreign girls who want a green card. But if you are gonna be on here then damnit...damnit sweety be something. Be anything other than you. Trap someone. Get married and then get fat and pump two semi-retarded kids out to be just like you. Let the cycle continue. But don't bullshit people on here. The guys on here are just as sad, either they walk around with 24 hour hard ons and can't use them or they are so deformed or old and lonely that they couldn't get laid in Thailand.
Wait maybe that is your catch. Maybe you are trying to be some guys easy fantasy of comfort just to trap him. But do you know what that does to men...well at least me...Once we smell a hint, even a hint, the slightest fucking whiff of change in your personality we will drop you like a hot bag of shit. At least I do. So when you say shit like "Oh I'm really laid back and I like to just walk around in pajamas and maybe watch baseball." That's fucked up. Because one day you aren't going to be that way. And the second we sense a lie, we bolt.
Get your shit together women. Have pride in your ass.
