I Kan't Spell
As the summer approaches and my friends all flock back to their suburban habits of beach visits and BBQ's, I recommend to all of you, who still have the chance, to cherish your families. It is rather lonely without anyone around sometimes.
I used to always say that my friends were my family. That's the kind of statement that's made by a stupid kid. I doubt I will know anyone I know now in 20 years. Your family is important. My friends are great people, but we have no union other than agreeable kindness. If I stabbed my Mother's dog in the throat, she will still love me, if I stabbed one of my friends dogs in the throat chances are we would never be cool again.
Here's to the summer...I'm at work right now...I'm going to get drunk all by myself tonight. It's been a while since I've done that.
Me: So let me get this straight. Why do you come here in the morning?
Other: To get tea.
Me: I'm not buying that. You come here because it's part of your morning pattern. This is what you have succumbed to [name]. This is now your life. Given your druthers you would never come to this place with these bloated fuckbags sitting around drinking coffee trying to look smart while reading the New York Times. You do this because you have stopped caring. Like dominoes of boredom, your life is slowly starting to become colored in between the lines.
Other: You're a dick. You are here too.
Me: I'm here because of you. I have yet to develop a morning pattern beyond my own survival. It's when you start adding in the frivolous extremities and surrounding yourself with samples of similarity over and over again that your brain stops working.
Other: What? Dude, do the people you work with think you're on drugs.
Other: Do you talk like this to everyone?
Me: Why not? Is it out of your familiarity zone?
Other: I guess. *to the waitress* I'll have a English Toffee
Me: *to the waitress* I'll have a Heineken
Other: You'll have a what? It's 8:15 a.m.
Me: I'm gonna drink a beer
Me: To show you it's possible.
Other: You're fucked up.
Other: I fuckin love you.
Have you ever seen someone so totally set aside from themselves that they seem surreal? I don't mean as though they are aloof or spacey, I mean, they are in the moment of themselves where nothing else is a variable. They have defined themselves for the duration of your observation. And as long as you hold it, that's as long as they'll keep on spiraling inwards towards that definition of "the moment".
That's the kind of feeling I get when I see Meg White drum. I get this euphoric feeling as though for once in the world I am seeing what someone was absolutely meant to do.
I know it's all entertainment and that she's probably nervous as shit and it's mostly an act. But, I don't care, because it is entertainment. I leave it at that value...her drumming won't transcend me to another place or state of mind. It's not going to make me breakfast or help me get a job or marry a beautiful woman. It's a moment of homage.
Because if I have learned anything over the last 5 or 6 years is that my life's church is art. Maybe not art in a classical, aesthetic, or even "good" sense, but I appreciate the beauty of living and living naturally and well, without inhibitions. That's what I see when I watch good art. I see truth through actions and creativity.
Unfortunately in this fucked up place, it seems to be those in the cage which seem to be the most natural. And since the stage, the canvas, and the projector are my churches then watching her drum is like taking communion. It allows me to be free for a little moment. It allows me to live vicariously through the image that the energy I am feeling is mutual with everyone around me.
Watching Meg drum is one of the most therapeutic things I can think of in my life, next to Asian porn.
It's hard to define her style. And to be quiet honest I feel fucking retarded writing about someone I have never met in an intimate way. I feel like a housewife from Oklahoma who cries because Boston Rob didn't win survivor.
But, you know what? The world is filled with all kinds of shitty things that you have to play with everyday. If someone can find solace or joy in anything, and that joy is not destructive, or constructive for that matter, than so be it. Good for them..
Here are some pictures of the new queen of rock for you...
The idea of anti-terrorism laws make me want to move to another country.
"Those who sacrifice liberty in the name of safety will have neither."
Don't people really get tired of being scared. I sure as shit don't feel any safer knowing that I'm being watched and hunted for everything I do. What a ridiculous fucking thing to do to America. The values that this country claims to instill are being trampled and muddled every day.
The anti-terrorism bill and the patriot act are some of the most horrific things to ever happen to this country. It paves the way for Gov't control via fear and information. They allow for more than physical threats to become tangible, they now allow for mere ideas to be considered as terrorism. I mean WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK DOES THAT MEAN????!!!
I hate the way we live sometimes. I hate the whole soccer mom mentality of this country. We used to be strong once. We used to be idealistic and the envy of the world. Now we set the tone for their downfalls by breeding our own evil injustices against ourselves.
Anywway...another rant for another day...check this dude out though...he got thrown in jail for mere FUCKING words...unbelievable...
Ookla the Mook
Old 1L...whoops...2L (congrats are in order for the future lawyer in the family) and I found this a few years ago. I'm sure some of you have seen it but if you haven't it will blow your doors off. It's sort of a game where you have to stump the computer by choosing a sitcom character, and choose something obscure or it will smoke you, and having the program guess it. Trust me...you'll be shocked...I showed it to this dude Matt who works next to me and he can't stop playing it.
I haven't really figured out yet whether or not I still enjoy Ryan Adams. After a while you need something more, and I have to admit that Demolition and Llor and Kcor didn't really do it for me as albums. They had some solid tracks on there but nothing I would fall over myself for.
In concert he sounds like an overmedicated asshole who would rather be at the dog track or at a strip bar than playing.
I have some earlier live shows from before Gold, and he sounds amazing. He sounds cheerful or melancholy, intimate, and vibrant. When I hear him play live now I simply shutter at the pain, but then I find myself rolling eyes at the disposition, described above, he seems to portray. He feels lost when I hear him now. He feels as though he should be famous but he still isn't.
In answer to my first question of whether or not "I still enjoy Ryan Adams". Well, I just put on My Sweet Carolina, Sylvia Plath, Winding Wheel, and To Be Young. (all off the same album, his masterpiece, "Heartbreaker")...and the answer to that question is "Yes!". I still enjoy Ryan Adams.
Get Your Wzzar On
Here's your morning GYWO -
This is one of my favorite GYWO's if not my fave. Hey, religion, if followed fanatically is fucking ridiculous. People who aren't smart enough to live by their own rules and would like to partake in religion are fine with me. People who want to take it to a fanatical level beyond that should be castrated and not allowed to breed. Seriously...
Imagine if you will, someone even dumber than the dumbest person you know, writing a book almost 2 or 3 thousand years ago about the world and it's rules. Imagine that person. Now see yourself involving yourself in rituals that have been (and you can read Tim's stuff for more I guess) transmutated throughout every other religion and folklore. Now seriously imagine living in a heaven(Nirvana, Xanadu, whatever the fuck) based on your ability to adhere to archaic moronic rules based mostly around land ownership and persisting the stronghold of the division of power.
I have way more to say about religion...but this cartoon sums up a good bit of it.
I remember the first time I saw Kimya, she was wearing a big bunny suit at the 9:30 club as her band The Moldy Peaches opened up for The Strokes. I stood there for about 10 minutes with my jaw on the ground. I had never heard nor ever seen them before. I was expecting anything other than what I got. What I received out of her performance was strange special.
She might have been that hurt girl in highschool who was kind, yet angry, but not cool, she was the one that wrote shitty poetry on the back of her binder with a picture of a knife in the middle of the stanzas. Then again knowing, that I know a lot of people who fit that description and that none of them ever did anything as cool as Kimya does, I probably will nix that thought. She was probably really fucking smart and saw it was all bullshit and decided to live a life of awesomeness doing what she likes.
She was this person singing in front of me. It was unbelievably pure. It was the most innocent sound I heard in a long time. It was the right combination of nervous, humerous, and artistic. It was as if someone was telling a knock knock joke while twiddling their thumbs and awkwardly swaying back and forth. But the joke is so good that you almost want to buy the teller a beer. And the joke teller knows it's that good because they look up with a tilted head and one viewable eye with a smirk.
She has a couple of mp3's here that I seriously recommend checking out. And if you want you should check out the Moldy Peaches, if for nothing more than a crooked smile and occasional shock, although they offer more than that.
I hate to do this but, her old counterpart Adam Green, is pretty brutal. I think he's playing state fairs out of spite to his own craft. His tunes, although different, are pretty fucking boring.
Get Your MFin War On
Here's your morning GYWO -
It's amazing how we haven't really thought about how many generations are going to pay in order to have antiquated fuel methods dominate our world. Woohoo...Old White Men strike again! Go go go gadget evil! I mean I wish somebody would just tell us how fucked we were. Or at least let us in to the master plan. You know like a huddle.
"What about us coach (comes the collective cry of 200 million Americans)?"
"What about you?"
"Well we might want to have a say in some of this. I mean...don't you guys ever listen to the American people and their general displeasure of things that involve killing other people at the expense of our own futures."
"Hey you be quiet over there! We have given you 100 channels of entertainment, drugs, and gambling in ever state. Now go be distracted with your shiney baubles...we have real things to do. Now you guys stand over there and hope we don't run out of people to kill and control, because when we get bored we turn our technology on our own..."
I just want to know the master plan. I want it revealed. I promise you I can take it. I might even get behind it and join the Bush youth league. You never know guys...you might be missing out on some pretty kick ass candidates...
Get Your War On Ya'lls
Here's the link to more Get Your War On...He also does a whole bunch of other stuff as well..it seemed pretty good...
I liked this one because it's just fucking graphic. I don't know what this related to in the news at the time, but I'm sure it had to do with evil us, doing eveil things, somewhere where non-white people live (as I read again it's Afghanistan..so ok). We're good at that.
A quick recap for you:
That was my night...I'll be here this evening...doing push ups, drinking Vitamin water, and reading the Bible.
Thanks for coming out.
21 Days of Get Your War On 21 Business Days of Get Your War On
Since the world seems to be a happier place to live in now and no one seems to really flinch over countless deaths in a country where little brown people live, I thought I'd just throw 21 days of "Get Your War On" down your fucking throats.
This one is the classic that you can even (and I say "even", yes, to mean the lowest possible denominator of literate people) hear dudes with backwards baseball hats mutter between their conversation involving terms such as "That bitch doesn't even go down." or "The (plug in sports franchise here) are gonna be fucking awesome in 2 years." or "Hey, Yo, Can I get 4 more Miller Lites, wait those are on special right?", saying.
Anyway, it's a good one....
Late For the Sky
My 400th post!
It seems fitting that I'm sitting here listening to the best thing I have bought in the last year or so, my record player, and listening to Late For the Sky by Jackson Browne!
It seems fitting that it brings about so many great memories of the girl I loved and lost.
It seems fitting that it was this album that made me want to write and express myself.
It seems fitting that this was the first album I ever bought because it's what my parents listened to. Buy this album...I promise it won't disappoint.
A Brief Conversation Interlude
Dipshit Bret says:
So now what superstar?
What have you done?
Dipshit Bret says:
nothing since we last typed
Dipshit Bret says:
dont have a dick
Dipshit Bret says:
Dipshit Bret says:
Dipshit Bret says:
disk dude disk
Thats the funniest thing I have seen all week
Dipshit Bret says:
Reviewed by me courtesy of Pitchfork Media:
Sleep Station - Caroline - This is really solid and melodic. It follows all the rules of Pop. 2:46 long...and it introduces new instruments as the song progresses. Sort of missing any kind of chorus but it flows. It sounds a little raw but I like where it's going and I'll probably DL more.
Lil' Cap'n Travis - Steady As She Goes - I've been hearing this bands name thrown around lately. They are cute. It sounds like stripped down Grandaddy and Yo La Tengo go together and decided to play the ukaleli. The lyrics are playful but nothing that's making me doing anything but want to press fast forward.
Human Television - Automobile - Hmm it started like Franz Ferdinand and finished up like they were playing in a barn in Ohio somewhere. There's not as much energy as the beat portrays but that's what makes songs cool sometimes. This is alright...I'll look more of this up later.
The Caribbean - William of Courage - This is pretty brutal. It's deciding to play too many little tricks with the tracks. That makes me kinda mad. And the song isn't all that good...Oh they did just curse...nope that didn't save it...
Say Hi To Your Mom - Let's talk About Spaceships - Oh this is pretty sweet. He used the word cadence. Yeah this is nice...this is fucking solid. Good chance..brought in some electronic...oh man this is solid...it's sort of like Enon. His voice is a little raspy but it's soft when it needs to be.
Say Hi To Your Mom - Blizzard - That last one was so good I had to see if they were for real. Man this is like Iron and Wine and Wilco go together. This is really good...mellow but good...I'll be investing.
The Envy Corp - Prisoners of War - How are these guys not famous? This is amazing. It's like American Radiohead. They have a little reverb and some interesting changes with the bass and drum. But this is smooth and really good. Nice big upswinging outro too. It's definitely worth a download.
Fiery Alliance - Self Pity - Oh no...nooooooo....uh uh....stop. Please stop. This is really bad...it sounds like a ten year old singing the Violent Femmes. oohh...
Blessed Light - Suzanna Sunshine - Hmm - this sounds like the guy from Marah and I never really liked Marah. This is some serious sad bastard music. It sounds like it should be good but it sounds more like it should be theme music for a bad 80's soap opera.
Tangiers - I Don't Love You - Oh yeah...nice one to end on. It's empty and hard at the same time. It sounds like they are playing in a tunnel. Hmm it's slipping but this is pretty good. It needs a pick up in there or a loop. The lyrics are simple, the chorus is pretty good but it needs something, or it needs to last longer. Because after it's over they just go back to a pretty average song. The ending is great! This still sounds promising though.
Only in Baltimore
I just got this email from Baltimore Magazine about the 101 things to do in Baltimore that will put you on your way to being a Baltimorean. It got me thinking about how much I love this city. I used to really not enjoy being here, as I had never lived anywhere else. But upon returning I came to the realization that my home is my home. And you always love it because it's familiar and comforting to feel knowledgeable about a place. This is my abbreviated list (in no particular order) of things to do in the greater Baltimore area.
0-10 - Where the fuck are you from and why are you reading this?
11-30 - Go back to Virgina or one of the surrounding states
31-50 - You've lived here a while aye? But you're ass wasnt born here.
51-70 - Born and raised....in the County
71-90 - Born and rasied in the city or the outskirts and had a father who liked to gamble and drink!
91-101 - You should be in a Waters flick you freak!
There are more...just can't think of them now...wow alot of these just have to do with sports, booze, and food? lol...
Singing Science Records
For those of you wanting to be a DJ. Or for anyone who wants to absolutely blow up your MP3 collections. You must check out the soothing sounds of Science Fiction Folk Songs from the 50's.
I found them here via here via here.....
That second "via here" is another kick ass blog that's getting on the list. Oh to start my music education again feels so...so...correct.
Additional Notes - Holy shit...and that's not a jumping up and down holy shit...that's a ..."I wish I was a DJ" holy shit. These are...fucking awesome...
Leo's Looking Old and Toby Can't Hold it Together
I love the television show West Wing. Well It's the only show on TV I watch other than Pimp my Ride and I only get to see that if I'm laying in bed and just so happens to come on. But I've been watching, thanks to Bravo and it's 4 times a day everyday, West Wing episodes, for about 6 months now, and am happy to say that I have seen every single episode. It's easily the smartest show on TV. I don't understand half the reference to 18th century literature or to Presidential idioms concerning Howard Taft. But somewhere deep down I know I want to. Anyway...I should say "I loved" the show I guess. Because as of late it's gotten, well, rather run down.
I want a return to the good 'ole days. I want to feel the sting of a Toby quote in the back of my neck.
"Why do we have to take everybody out for an Ice Cream cone when we talk about the Middle East! THEY'LL LIKE US WHEN WE WIN!"
I want my West Wing back...
Oh to Enjoy Your Day
Ok...there are two things..no wait make that 4 things making me pretty happy today...nope 5...so here we go
Ran and lifted 3 days straight now.
Haven't smoked more than 2 cigs in any of those days.
Feel better, feel much better.
Weekend comes soon...
The true test begins...
Big Ups to Wazzle Wazz
My roommate the other day ran a marathon. Yep...he ran a fucking marathon. I know...he's stumpy, he's fat, and he eats anything greasy...but you know what...he ran a marathon. That's just insane. Anyway...that made me get up this morning and go running. I ran 3 miles. He ran 26. I think a lot changed in me today. Cheers to Watts!
If you ever get a chance I recommend listening to the following bands. Now I'm not as cool as some of you when it comes to your music tastes...and to be quite honest I really want my tastes to turn down a different path. I'm pretty good at finding what's gonna be hot next. I'm not good at really finding totally non-mainstream music. So whatever you got..I'd like to know...anyway. I have a list here of stuff that you may have heard of and may not have heard of. The only criteria for this list is that I have never seen any of these bands on a talk show, or MTV. Everything thing else is out the window.
Two if By Sea
Me: "So she was just standing there at the bar after her band got done playing. I was so in love with her while she was playing. It was unstoppable"
Friend:"why didn't you run any game on her?"
Me: "This is not a girl that you could "run game on". And stop talking like we're 19. She's in a fucking band! She's in a cool band at that! How and whom does she date? She has sex with random people that fulfill her fantasies. She doesn't randomly screw half-drunk short stumpy little dudes who fawn over her playing the bass in a dive club."
Friend:"Whatever...last night you ran game at the bar."
Me: "I "ran game" (while gesturing quote marks) on a waitress at a bar, not a girl in a band. A band that releases 33's at that."
Me: "And I don't have any game. I have coincidental happenings with people. I either piss people off or make them uncomfortable to the point where I become memorable. And since I stay at one bar practically all night, it just so happens that we get to interact with each other, by simply being there. We aren't that far removed from wildlife. You put two people in a confined space for too long, odds are you'll eventually have sex."
Friend: "But you did run game. It's the same thing you always do. You don't think you are trying but I know you are...because you always have that stupid smile when you do it."
Me: "What? Piss a girl off, make her role her eyes, ignore her, then apologize like a sweety and throw around some obscure piece of knowledge that I have unconsciously assumed we have in common."
Friend: "Yeah that's about right. Wait...what? Whatever man...you should have talked to that girl."
Me: "We aren't of the same breed you and me, her and me too for that matter."
Me: "I know when to punch my own weight. If I had been sober. I mean totally sober and had something to say that was actually truthful and (while gesturing quote marks) "not game" I would have. And the only thing I could think of that would fit that mold would be, 'Hey you dropped your wallet' or 'Your hair is on fire'. When you respect someone from a far and then want to speak to them it becomes more difficult. I mean I could have, and now thinking about it, probably would have, if totally sober remind you, talked to her. If nothing more then to tell her that I thought she was awesome."
Me: "Wait, no...that's creepy. Nope I wouldn't say anything. People are brought together by chance not by forced situations. It's taking advantage of that chance that makes things cool. Not trying to create chance. That's not cool."
Me:"We're not the same breed you and me. You sport fuck. I can't do that anymore. I want to absolutely fall in love again. I want to be moved."
Friend:"I thought that's what she did."
Me:"With what? Her bass......"
Friend:"You're fucking weird sometimes dude."
Me:"Remind me to write this down later."
Me:"Because I want to remember it."
"Get Me the Everlasting Gumball"
Willy Wonka is really a messed up flick. I happened to come across it today while waiting for tonight's game on ESPN. The most fucked up scene in the movie is not the boat ride, or the TV thing, or the fat kid in the tube, or anything like that. The most fucked up scene is when Charlie, confronted with both of his grandfather's at his home, only chooses to talk to one of them. I mean that's cruel. The other Grandpa is just chillin there and Charlies like,
"Oh Grandpa Joe I really wish you could go with me. Fuck that other Grandpa I have, he's worthless and wears glasses."
What a little dick.
Memories...like the corners of my mind...
I was just cruising through the old Photosynthetic Molecules page and was having a good time just checking out what we did when we was all youngins...
Anyway an explanation to that shutdown is in order I guess. If noone saw it before, my hosting company made it impossible to have non-ftp posting. It made it impossible for any transfers other than formmail. They suck...I hope to get that thing back up sooner or later when I switch hosting companies or find a way around by continually bombarding them with emails explaining to them how inept and pointless they are as human being.
Everyday I think about living in Korea. Seriously everyday I think about it. I don't know whether it was the women, the idea of being away, the feeling of being special, playing with little kids (no thats not it). I have no idea. But I almost envy these guys who go there for 2 or 3 years. I really think I should have gone for maybe 3 years. Because then I would have gotten sick of it or fell so in love with it that I would have just stayed.
The only thing that puts my thoughts about Korea into persepctive are all the days I hated living there and wanted to come back home. I mean you don't have friends. You don't have your best friends anyway. That makes it tough, for me anyway, because my friends are pretty much my family. You don't have cheese, and you really can't be normal ever...so the grass is greener sometimes.
Anyway..I've been reading this guys blog. He's pretty dead on with everything. I think experiencing something that noone else can experience is also really important. It's like being a major league baseball player. They all look at other major league baseball players and nod because they know exactly what the other has experienced. Anyway...it makes me sad knowing I'll probably never go back..but it rocks that I was there...I just don't know how to shake this feeling of wanting to talk about it and go back there all the time.
Additon - This is fucking hilarious. And pretty dead on...except that I lived in Seoul in Nowon so it wasn't all that much roughing it as the dudes who lived in the country.
What are you guys gonna do when you vote?
I honestly have no idea. I don't want to vote Democratic because I don't like the idea of a lazy fat Gov't and I sure as shit don't really want to vote Republican...mostly because of the war...but more than that is that their just fucking creepy. I mean when Rumsfeld is the most charismatic front man you have coming out of your office, something is really wrong with that. That and guns, and abortions, and same sex marriage, I mean all that shit is just really fucked up. Except for the guns...I kina like being able to arm myself. It's wrong...but it seems right to an extent.
I mean if I saw Dick Cheney in a bar or whatever and he said "hey I'm the Vice-President" I think I would honestly tell him to go "eat his own fist". It just really seems like the right thing to do. It feels honest and pure to tell someone like that to "Go Fuck Yourself". I might even spit on the floor and grind it in with my big toe as I order him a shots of tequila and toast to the "Virtues we were founded on and the shit that we now live in. Thanks alot." That seems and feels wrong to read I know. Believe me I love our country I really do. I don't think there's a better place in the world. But, I can't honestly say that I feel that that man belongs in an office. I can't honestly say I believe anything that those people say. And if you are a liar, and I don't believe you, chances are...no matter who you are...I'm gonna drop an f-bomb on your forehead. That's all there is to it...deal with it...
All I want out of our national dog and pony show of a presidential race is for a 3rd party candidate to be able to debate. I want some serious liberal ACLU tree hugging bastards up there. And I also want some bible thumping, gun carrying, brimstone and fire right wing semi-Nazi up there too. I want them asking questions. And then I want viable, and I do mean viable candidates to be able to debate. Candidates from parties with at least one representative in Congress is all you need to qualify. And those people each get a 5 minute speech and the each get to answer let's say 5 questions. I mean that's not real thorough but you get an idea for some sort of personal merit.
And after that the panelist, maybe 20 people of varying positions and avenues in life, a Nobel prize winner, Union delegate, lawyer, doctor or any professional special person, should decide who gets to debate the following night.
All I want to see is different opinions about the issues. I want to see what Ralph Nader has to say about the war and the environment. I want to see what Rev. Al has to say about, whatever the hell he's an expert in, and I want to see the Libertarians come in and question the fact that we pay 40-50% of our yearly income in taxes. (look it up seriously). I mean, the tv networks want it to be a serious debate. I think it would be a hell of alot more serious if the motherfucker wasn't already staged and we knew what each candidate was going to say. If they had to watch out from responses from Nader or just anybody...they would be a little more game...and that's all I want...
I want either that or an election decathlon with a pie eating contest as one of the events. Oh and the long jump..because the visual of George Bush in little shorts leaping is funny as balls...
Can We Get Lesser People to Run for President?
So what's the deal with being President? You have to be good looking or at least have a full head of hair. You have to have some connection to a prestigious college and have served some time in the Armed forces. Other than that...and about 150 Millions dollars..anybody can be President.
Anyway I found it amusing...that hopeful Presidential candidate John Kerry (Otherwise known as George Bush with more taxes and a huge fucking chin) ...has come out lately appalled by the jobless rate. First off the unemployment is going down and inflation seems to be on the rise thanks to rich fuckers...anyway..he was so appalled..so absolutely entrenched in making sure that people have jobs and can support our way of life...this means so much to him that yesterday he failed to show up and FUCKING VOTE FOR THE BILL.
Yo La HellYeah
I just downloaded an entire Yo La Tengo concert from here. Here's your lovable setlist, that upon knowing Yo La Tengo you will absolutely giggle at understanding how Sesame Streety they are...
01 - I'm Your Captain (Grand Funk)
02 - Gigantic (Pixies)
03 - Barstool Blues (Neil Young)
04 - Next Big Thing (Dictators)
05 - Build Me Up Buttercup (Foundations)
06 - Jesus (VU)
07 - Surfin Bird (Trashmen)
08 - Psychotic Reaction (Count Five)
09 - Chicken Scratch shuffle????
10 - Cars (Gary Numan)
11 - The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Tokens)
12 - Hold On (I'm Coming) (Sam and Dave)
13 - Tonight's The Night (Neil Young)
14 - banter
15 - Tonight's The Night (Rod Stewart)
16 - Monk Time (The Monks)
17 - She Cracked (Jonathan Richman)
18 - This Boy (Beatles)
19 - Drawing to a Hole (The Clean)
20 - White Light/White Heat (VU)
21 - banter
22 - Hey Ya (Outkast)
23 - Close to Me (The Cure)
24 - Taxman (Beatles)
25 - The Rain, The Park and Other Things (The Cowsills)
26 - London Calling (Clash)
27 - We Didn't Start The Fire (medley) (Billy Joel)
28 - outro
This is a site/blog that helps keep track of the latest free mp3's being released by guys like Ipod, Amazon, and mp3.com. I only put this up for my corporate brethren whom have desisted their downloading habits in the wake of possible repercussions. Well now you can have mp3's and nobody can tell you other wise...Nor do you have to look over both shoulders and try to hide them in a folder called "work related". The days of keeping your fingers crossed when get an email from your SYS ADM about "Proper Network Usage" may soon come to an end. So download all you want if you can get outside your own firewall that is...
The Farce that is Poetry.com
I received this email today.
Over the past several months, we have been reviewing the thousands of poems submitted to us...After an exhaustive examination of this poetic artistry, The International Library of Poetry is pleased to inform you that you have been nominated for inclusion in ...
The International Who's Who in Poetry
Congratulations on your accomplishment, Bret. We look forward to publishing your biographical information on a page dedicated entirely to you. Along with your biographical information, we plan to also include in depth information about your poetry, including your motivations, the meaning poetry has in your life, and your personal philosophical point of view. In addition to dedicating a page entirely to you and your personal background, we have also reserved a second complete page that will be used to showcase a new, unpublished poem that you will provide. This means that ...
The International Who's Who in Poetry will feature two full pages dedicated exclusively to Bret Holmes!
(I know you can't see me being facetious but believe me it's in here)
How about that? I'm so awesome! I'm going to go out and buy this book. Oh wait I have to buy the book...damn I thought I was special. You'd think if you were in the Intergalactic best poet ever book you would get a free copy. I really really thought that the poem my mother submitted in my name about 3 years ago was that good enough to be considered amongst one of the greatest works in the world. If I remember correctly, and I'm not lying here, it had a spelling error (I know you can't believe it right?). I really thought that one of these horrible attempts at poetry would be published in a book. I weep...Sincerely...
I really hope to see someone some day with this book on their coffee table and the bookmark hanging out of the page where their poem is staring me in the face, taunting me to open the book, and read aloud the vast depth that they have encapsulated. Oh and it shall read something like this
Where have you gone
Why have you returned
The length of life is only matched
By the breadth of dreams
And to you I raise me hands
Hoping to catch your life
And cleanse my body
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just want to see someone buy this thing. Oh shit you know what I remember now. Poetry.com is located in Owings Mills. When I used to work for Mom.com, I remember we had the office space right next to them. Oh the days....
Open Mouth Insert Pie ( I wish the Spanish word for foot wasn't "pie")
Our very own Gov. Ehrlich, who is even more Baltimore than Schaefer was, denounced the idea of multiculturalism yesterday in a radio call in to WBAL.
First off, I love it when high ranking officials of our state, actually the highest ranking official, can not express himself more eloquently than by using the word "crap" or "bunk". Lord...
Secondly, he goes on to make this ridiculous comment.
Dude, look around, what kind of common culture do you see outside of the suburbs. Real people don't live in the suburbs so they don't count. Shit, even in Baltimore there's a Korea town, china town, Italian, Greek, black, Jewish, alien, illegal alien, run away goat herders...What sort of semblance is he envisioning here? The only thing we have in common is paying taxes to keep stupid white men in power.
Ok even more fun news is that old Don Schaefer, and for those of you not from Baltimore, this guy was beloved. Then he became comptroller and started pulling over trucks and vans filled with tax free furniture, raised the taxes on tolls, and had a huge hand in redesigning (whoops I mean segregating)most of Baltimore neighborhoods via tax incentives and raised housing costs. Anyway, old Donny Bmore did this
Now I'm not all about illegal or really just immigrants coming into the city and living off tax dollars and making our country a little less stable. I'm not for it. I mean it's not fair for either party. "First off allow me to say welcome to America. Second here's some money and some medical care. Oh sure no problem, no problem...hey we're all rich here...shit...we can support everyone." That's how it's not fair for me...and it's not like that's first person type shit...that's just a reinactment of the 8 cents taken out of my weekly check, well 8 cents for immigrants and 200 dollars for fucking old people. Anyway...It's totally not fair to them...All they hear is "Hok luty subernt to for thew jert?" So I can imagine the hardships are immense and to be able to get here to begin with shows a lack of apathy, and makes me think they have a spark that used to be the kind of stuff that makes this country kick ass. But you can't ask me to be in total favor of it...my life sucks too...and people that obviously stick out as scapegoats for me suffering are not going to get my sympathy. Sorry...
Now I'm rather ignorant on the subject but from what I can understand, if you don't speak English it has to be difficult to attain a job. If it becomes difficult to attain a job you take work anywhere, and most of the jobs aren't exactly the ones you can speak at, i.e. manual labor. You either do that or you collect from the state. Either way...I don't see those as viable work/living solutions. When your living/work solutions turn out to be not so good, you tend to turn to alternate solutions for income whether it be illegal or once again state funded (i.e. breeding).
Do I think more funding should go towards the learning of English, absolutely.
Do I think we should start adopting English as a way of life? I really don't think it's going to be a Gov't decision. I think it's a consumer decision.
When the Spanish and Asian languages start to get more of a market share, the media will let us know when it's time for us to go back to our 6th grade Spanish book to learn how to say , "Excuse me I'm here about the window washing position."
And You Thought Dan Brown Was Gone Until Next Xmas
Apparently the dudes who cracked the Enigma used by Nazi Germany back in WW2 are now using their talents to crack the mystery of the Holy Grail. I'm willing to bet that probably won't come to fruition. But hey, what ever builds the tourist activity to Shugborough in Staffordshire.
Texaco Chainsaw Massacre
Apparently since they don't have guns over in England they just rob gas stations anyway they can. This dude apparently robbed a gas station with a chainsaw.
That's some hardcore shit, pillow case and chainsaw.
I sure as hell hope it's rare. I wonder if in America they took away our guns, what weapon would be using next. And if they took away guns would they also start slowly taking away bow and arrows, and then knives of 12 inches, and then hammers, and then chainsaws. Who knows...they'll never relinquish the gun law in this country, and that keeps Hollywood going.
Observations from Turners
I found a bar in Federal Hill that I enjoy going to. It's called Turners and you can usually find me there on Friday and Saturday night. Why do I enjoy this bar? Well...it has the coolest 6'2" Russian bartender named Yanna and a little dude named Jeff that is cool with me and loves what I play on the jukebox. The main reason, is that it's never crowded. The other reason is that it's a martini bar. Now I'm not a martini bar kind of person. But any aspect of a bar in Federal Hill that keeps the meat away from the market is good to me. I mean you are usually outnumbered 1.5 - 1 girls to boys. And the girls are hotter and more dressed up. You don't see a lot of mass bud light orders going out to a section of guys in the latest Banana Republic gear. It's more like a couples bar I guess. They have Jameson there so I'm good.
So last night after the strippers (read below) I went to Turner's. Now Yanna wasn't working and neither was the other hot girl that works there, Christine. The only reason I know Christine is that I almost got into a fight with her boyfriend...but we're cool now I guess. Anyway...I was there and a bartender that I had never seen, Tori was there with some other dude. Tori is a bombshell. I mean...she looks like she could be an ice sculpture of the hottest porn star in the world. She was wearing a huge orchid in her ear and had a self made shirt on that barely kept her 44 Double D's in there. Anyway..she was talking to some guy who's a radio station manager at 95.9. And we started talking a little about music and he told me he was a (now what was it?) a....a....something like a musical sociological historian. He was talking about how African Americans have been getting ripped off forever and how music is so vital and trivial at the same time. It sounded good, but you could tell from his delivery that he had given that speech about 50 times...so it didn't seem quite as fresh...and when someone give a speech for the 50th time there's no way the audience is getting a word in edge-wise. This sort of got me thinking about the appeal of hip hop to white suburbia. It sort of got me thinking about how passive music is, but at the same time, there may be no bigger piece of media that can segregate a culture like music can.
I started thinking about how we dress and whom we interact with. I started thinking about that, and could really only take myself as my first test sample, but for most urban/suburban youths, music plays a pretty big role in choosing groups of people. It also plays a big role in your costume. It plays a big role in your habits and ability to accept certain habits as ok, or denounce them as evil. It plays a role in your nightlife. I mean obviously, if you do something or like something it helps to define you. But I like steak, and steak doesn't really affect the way I dress or who I hang out with. I like the TV show West Wing, but again, I don't feel the need to dress like Toby or Josh as an extension of my being able to enjoy the show. But I do like Britpop, and I do like me some suburb punk. And I own, and search for witty t-shirts. I look for ways to look aloof and unbothered by trite things like jobs or money. I order scotch and water while wearing a scarf in doors. I pride myself in being able to talk in movie lines that correlate back to the same type of music found on their soundtrack. any who...
Another observation I had was the hot girl and her breeding ritual. The bartender Christina rolled into the bar. She was dressed to absolutely kill. I mean her ass was hanging out of her skirt and her huge titties were just mashed together enough to pop out of a turtleneck. It was quite impressive. But you know what that outfit does?
It says two things, and I commend her on one. The first thing it does is make people look at her.
The second thing it does, and this is commendable, is that it wards away potential male suitors unable to mate with her. Now that may seem animalistic but let's face facts. The average man sees a strong dominant female, with a body that is obviously quite adept at breeding, all her plumage is showing, and she is unstoppable. The average man sees these dominant traits, looks, desires, and then is thwarted by his own conscious, or a more suitable male. He basically sees this and instinctively covets and then cowers. He knows he does not have the ability to breed with her. He does not have the nerve or the fortitude to approach. That's a sad thing about our culture but it's true. And what is commendable is that she will go home with a man who is suited to breed with her. She will create a more dominant human being simply by having selected an appropiate-mating outfit. Girls who wear bullshit ass baggy pants or dress like they don't want to be impressed and shit like that, those are people that have diseased children that grow up to be weak and odd. The person that the breeeder copulates with will probably churn out a healthy offspring that will carry these dominant traits with it to once again super breed.
The last thing I noticed, and this is one that I've been hearing for a while, is the bullshit ass way people say they don't care about the way they look. Now I take huge offense to this when it pertains to one sect of people, the "punk" or "emo" people are usually the one to utter the "I don't care" phrase. And when they do I can't help but chuckle and think that the mohawk they are wearing is the way their hair looked when they woke up. Or the vintage McGyver t-shirt that so aptly fits their svelt torso is merely something that they found on their floor. In order to realy punch holes in them, I want to first look at their opposite. Let's look at the people that "punks" and "emo's" seemingly think do care what they look like. Let's look at the rich.
I'm going to define rich people by their superficialities. In this case, one who has to wear a uniform for all occasions. One who has to have a robe for the bathroom, a pair of bluchers for yachting and monogrammed towels for their indoor pool. Rich is not living in a nice suburban community and driving a Lexus. That's nice, but it's not really rich. The real rich people have costumes. They wear clothes whose maker can be identified by a certain cut, fabric, or emblem. They wear either traditional or current conservative, yet changing hairstyles. They engage in activities suited for their ilk. Activities such as polo, yachting, extreme world travel. They enjoy purchasing things like Persian rugs and crystal vases that house fake flowers by Faberge'. They live a life surrounded by items and events that one can easily identify them by.
Now let's define the "punk" and "emo" crew. The crew that so apparently doesn't "care" about how they dress. In this case one who has to wear a uniform for all occasions. One who has not one, but at least 7 concert t-shirts of varying levels of obscure bands that have strategic if not "planted" holes and rips. They wear trendy shoes, whether it be the light fitting Clarks, old Nike's with the waffle iron tread, or doc martins. They take comfort in knowing that their jeans are old, and that their hairstyle is one that is current and being mocked by the up and coming bands that they go to see. They engage in activities with their fellow "slackers" such as cheap Irish bars with good juke boxes, seeing bands at dive clubs on the weekend, or simply passing out on the floor at a flop house. They live a life surrounded by items and events that one can easily identify them by.
Both of these people have costumes, it's just that the "rich" group understands their costume as being a chain, and the other group thinks their costume gives them freedom. One group has money to buy crazy shit like $10,000 class eggs. And the other prides themselves in knowing the cook at the local Sip n' Bite who can give them free pancakes at 5 am. We all wear costumes people. Hey, you want to see some people that really don't give a shit about what they wear, go to a corporation and visit the mid-level programmers. They couldn't care less. Now that's punk...
So the first 3 days of this week have been pretty taxing. Work has been tough. People have been tough. Roommates should peril in a tragic freak roof collapsing accident. So I did what any born and bread Baltimore man does when he feels stressed. I went to see naked women dance. It's been such a long time since I've been to a strip club. And I'm not getting nearly as much sex as I need in my life. So going to a strip club at 6:30 on a Wednesday seemed like a great idea. Oh what I miss by dating strippers and partying late night with girls who could talk about themselves for hours even while laying on a bar completely naked doing tricks with their orifices.
Anyway...I went over there with my new sidekick as of late, Jenkfest. Jenkfest is my roommate and I kinda like living with him. So he looks at me while we are there and he wants to leave after about an hour. I simply looked over and said,
Now I don't really watch the girls. I mean I do. But I don't get off like most guys at a strip club who tilt their head and try to see up to someone's kidney's. I don't do that. As a matter of fact I usually look them in the eyes and try to find any spark of life. It's not really the organs that I'm attracted to, it's the "milkshake". It's any glowing aspect of them. It's whatever they are most proud of...now I know we're talking about strippers here but everyone ends up somehwere for a reason. And you are just as close to being homeless as you are to living in the penthouse. Most of them are just women who are confused or in a tough spot.
So in that vein I have come to the conclusion that here are three kinds of strippers.
I also realized even more that I'm not attracted to northern European women. If women were cuts of meat in front of me in a butcher shop, I instinctively know that I always go for the tenderloin. It's the same way I always go for the dark haired girl with hips and dark eyes. Nordic blondes, and southern belles, or dye jobbed polish girl just don't turn me on in any physical way. It's always the Italians, Greeks, Jews, Turks, etc....oh and don't forget Asian women. I was sort of bummed they didn't have any Asian girls working there. Now just because I find a certain breed of women more attractive doesn't mean I don't hold personality to a high level. I just hold physical beauty and the ability to be completely sexual as the clincher. Actually the real clincher is the Sunday morning conversation. But either way...
Anyway...I left at about 9. I felt much better.
How come more people aren't freaking out a little more about the fact that a FUCKING JET in AN AIRFORCE (allbeit the Mexican airforce...i.e. American airforce circa 1978) saw things flying around it that it cannot identify. IT CANNOT IDENTIFY! Well I doubt it's us...unless we are thinking about invading our biggest debt clients paying us at a clip 0f 10%.And unless Bolivia or FUCKING San Salvador popped up in the technology world I don't know what the hell this is. But I sure as hell want to know.
Ok so I finally got Liz to start a blog and she showed me this other dude's blog which I sort of like because all I do is talk about media and live shows on here anyway and he does the same thing. He seems to be a tad craftier than I though...So anyway...
This is Liz's
This is some other dude that Liz knows.
Good luck to Liz as she enters into the world of sharing with strangers.
Super Psyched For Friday
It's Wed., but I'm already stoked for Friday. The Otto Bar is hosting Enon and Two if By Sea and Shannon Wright and Blood on the Wall but it's the first two I really want to see. Two if By Sea is one of the best bands I have ever seen from this area. They sound like Morrisey and Interpol got together and decided to sing a good bit of pop. I got an Enon record yesterday from trusty old Soundgarden but haven't absorbed it yet. From the mp3's I have I assume it's gonna be awesome though. Anyway, I haven't seen a good show in a while and last time I went to see Two if By Sea I got drunk and Doug and I had to leave before we could no longer mobilize ourselves out of the shady ass neghborhood where the Ottobar is.
And before all this I'm eating some Korean grub, drinking some soju, and oogling Korean waitresses. It's gonna rule!
I haven't decided about Preakness just yet...got the corporate pass today...but am not really feeling it...The tent, the white clothes, the breezy day of sipping black eyed susans under a corporate logo, while I watch the naked animals next to us doing what I want to do. I got an offer for a grandstand/infield pass...but you know...I think I may just go hang out with my Dad and shop for records. That sounds lame...but hey...have you ever been in the infield at Preakness and looked yourself in the mirror...no...it doesn't get any lamer than preakness in Retrospect. I think if I get a proper invite from some of my friends who are going then I'll go...else...2005 Preakness it is.
Convo With my Old Korean Girlfriend
Bret says: really
Bret says: why?
SuYeon says: what??
Bret says: why are all my dreams coming true?
SuYeon says: what dose this mean??
SuYeon says: ^^
SuYeon says: pregnant?
Bret says: who?
SuYeon says: i don't know.
SuYeon says: i little bbigim.
Bret says: bbigim?
Bret says: aggie
SuYeon says: ??
Bret says: ??
SuYeon says: you know.... bbgida...
SuYeon says: i miss that time badly...
SuYeon says: when??
SuYeon says: so why did you break up??
Bret says: with who?
SuYeon says: i miss him badly.............................
Bret says: who?
Bret says: bbgida
Bret says: whos is that?
SuYeon says: you.............................
SuYeon says: sorry.
Bret says: why?
Bret says: dont be sorry
SuYeon says:today come down rain.
Bret says: its hot here
SuYeon says: really??
SuYeon says: this is cold.
SuYeon says: no, today is cold.
SuYeon says: really.
SuYeon says: i catch cold.
SuYeon says: cold...cold.
SuYeon says: jinjja.
SuYeon says: everydays i miss you...
SuYeon says: kiss
SuYeon says: bye bye~~~
Bret says: ok bye bye
A Visual Interpretation of the Digital World
The people at opte.org have been trying to come up with a visual map of the net for quite a while. I remember these guys from back in the day when they started with visual route and mapping nodes. This is kind of cool and I wonder, when they finish, what they will really find.
If I could make it something, it would be a microcosm of the stars and then we would realize that we are merely an IP address in space and that all aspects of our planet are just one big working computer. That's pretty cheesed, but that would be smokin', and it would be the ultimate jaw dropper. Well that and bigfoot
Cupboard for the Dead
Airlines are now offering corpse compartments.
I don't really know how to feel about this. On one hand if my friend of family member died, I don't think I'd be too keen on a stewardess dragging him by his armpits to be stowed snuggly in the corpse cupboard. Then again if it wasn't anyone I knew, I would want them as far as fucking possible away from me.
Things To Check Off for the Summer
Drinking gets cut down to one time a week
Lose some weight
Cut down on smoking and become just a social smoker
Do something productive within the community, South Baltimore Learning Center would be cool
Write something and be confident enough to show it to someone
Become kick ass at your job
Raise your energy level by cutting out foods that crush you
Learn to sleep on the floor
Become flexible enough to put your palms flat on the floor with your legs still straight
Hit a homerun for my summer baseball team
Don't make one phone call when you are drinking
Don't screen phone calls
Don't dodge people out in public
Go to the ocean, any ocean
Go to Vegas
Go to New York
Improve mental agility
Learn how to play backgammon and pinochle
Change website focus
Get knowledge blog running
Find a girlfriend
Fast for 3 days
Then fast for 4 days
Give something away that you love
Stop writing in list form
Randoms Brought To You By My Station at Launch.com
Done...monster list finished
Randoms on Music From My MP3 Collection
:Everything is on random so here we go.
That's enough for me right now...
Pandora Song List
Amazon Wish List
Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers
Things Making Me Smile
Listening - [out of 5]
Benjy Ferree - 4.8
The Thermals 3.1
David Gray 3.8
Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep
Bands That I Check Schedules For
Badly Drawn Boy
Belle and Sebastian
The Black Keys
Drive By Truckers
Mark Hopkins Band
Iron and Wine
Mates of State
Two if By Sea
Places I Rock in the Flesh
The Knitting Factory
The Otto Bar
Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh
Cross Street Market
No Way Jose
The Irish Pub
The Waterfront Hotel
My Greatest Hits (that's so lame)
The time I almost killed a child
July 4th in Korea
Excerpts from Demian
Why I screen phone calls
Bret's Death Metal Report
A conversation at a cocktail party
A conversation at breakfast
So you think you are a Baltimorian
A conversation about a girl singer
Observations from a bar
Observations of strippers
Why I love Oasis
I would go to war
"You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend
Dance to Your Ocean
When men become pussies
Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter
Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level
The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs
The Hatred that is Runts Candy
Starting corporate line-up
Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3
The Night I Burned Philly Down
So You Want to be a Booze Hound
She Said it was Free
Funniest Corporate Story Ever
Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them
Pieces of Morning
Oasis Album Revew
The Art of Tipping
Starting Fires With Grass Stains
Bret's Federal Hill Food Review
Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet
Stupid Secrets the Return
Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time
Indie Video Archive
Large Hearted Boy
Pitch Fork Media
Scenestars MP3 Blogs
Sound Garden Baltimore
Angry Little Girls
Junior Varsity Meat Market
Baltimore City Paper
The Baltimore Sun
Villa Julie College Baseball
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